1. Is it to late to drop out and join the circus? I’d be happy to set up the trapeze. No one pisses off the person who sets up the trapeze; it’s too dangerous.
2. Why yes, I can eat my weight in Chipotle.
3. SLEEP.
4. Well, this *insert paper/ exam/ project here* is either going to be an A or an F. Not sure which.
5. Fuck all of this.
6. Did that person just say that reading 16 pages a week was too hard? Well then. Maybe I will do really well on this exam, I mean, comparatively.
7. Did that person just say that they read 500 pages a week per class? I’m in trouble, comparatively, I mean.
8. I have issues with patriarchal norms and find the idea of total dependency on others frustrating, but maybe being a trophy wife wouldn’t be too bad...
9. Was that an A? PRAISE BE TO THE MAYAN GODS.
10. No matter what happens, I can sleep at night knowing that I never voted for George W. Bush, Rick Perry, or “legitimate rape” Todd Akin. I think I can be happy.
