Conversations About Clothes with My Dad and Mom

******Disclaimer- the best part of my stories is that my clothes are barely even "slutty" by traditional standards.********



*Walks into hotel room and looks for a black bra while announcing "I need a black bra so it isn't obviously showing a bit over the top of my dress"*

Dad looks annoyed but refuses to make a comment. Picks at his hat for a moment before finally asking- "Why does your bra show anyways? Don't you have anything less slutty?"

You just don't understand, Dad.

This would be the dress, by the way.

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"I am not buying you those shorts" Mom sighs.

"Fine. I will get them myself. It's pretty much the same money anyways. But, out of curiosity- why is the bikini ok when the shorts aren't?"I annoyingly ask loudly while in line.

"Oh. I didn't even see the bikini. I'm not getting that either." Mom replies.

I chuckle. Yep- 20 year old girl chuckling.

"I think they are cute! If I was your age and looked like you, I would wear them all the time!" Chimes in a lady, who looks to be about 10 years older than my mother, who was standing behind us in line.

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHA, MOM. Take that!"

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"I can look like a whore of Babylon if I want to!" -me, at least once a week.

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Telling my parents about my semester- "And because the room was so hot, I got to the point where I just walked around in my underwear. Then I got to the point when I didn't bother to put on a shirt or pants when my friends came over. Then I got to the point when I answered the door for the FedEx guy in my underwear."

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We're going to your cousin's bar mitzvah at a conservative synagogue. So, don't wear any of your clothes."- Dad