Thank God for Fox News

If it weren't for Fox news, I would never have realized how much I have done to personally sabotage my own happiness. Suzanne Venker's article, "The War on Men" has made me realize the error of my ways. As she eloquently describes, feminism isn't the reaction to or female defense of the war on women, but rather a war on men.

Look at that poor man under attack...

The reason that there are no "marriage-worthy" men is due to the fact that women are no longer women. My god, if I had known this before, I wouldn't have wasted my university scholarship money on my studies; I would have got the boob job that will make me a REAL woman. I can't cook, so I should at least be pretty.  How dare I refuse to let a man use his DNA coded drive to protect me by getting a job and being financially independent?

I am so glad that Fox news took the time to remind me that any gender inequality that I experience is my fault. And, to think, I could have blamed sexist lawmakers who innocently put women in binders! Guess I'm never getting married.

But... there is hope. I can "surrender to my nature" as the article recommends and attract marriage-worthy men. I have never felt more attractive then when I am wearing high heels, a poodle skirt, and a low-cut blouse in the kitchen. While cooking, of course. Perhaps I should just cook naked, so as to be as close to my nature as possible. That way I can't let my ideals or clothes get in the way of me and my man... and second degree burns.

http://www.foxnews.com/opinion/2012/11/24/war-on-men/