I Suck at Christmas

I had a great Christmas Eve with my boyfriend and his family last night. However, today, I wasn't up to much. Mom, Dad, and I had dinner together and bummed around the house, as is our usual tradition. Just for humor, here was my Christmas:

- Sleep in 'til 3pm. Why? 'Cause I can.

- Watch a TV show that recounts decades-old murders and how they were solved.

- Rice. Lots of rice.

- Play with phone apps.

- Read.

- Watch TV with mom.

- Blog.

Somewhere Santa is remembering that he should have thrown coal down my chimney last night.

Guys and Umbrellas

I go to school in Southeastern Ohio, and my hilly campus is prone to bouts of rain. This year, I finally noticed a strange phenomenon that has probably been occurring since long before I began to attend:

Guys don't use umbrellas.

Why?

Very few men actually use umbrellas on campus. From what I can tell, they prefer getting drenched in a torrential downpour to using an umbrella.

A few answers I have received:

1. They are girly.

2. It is one more thing to have to carry around.

Blah Blah Blah...

Please, someone, enlighten me as to why men hate umbrellas???

Benefits of an umbrella -->

- Cute guy/ girl? Raining? Share the umbrella.

- NOT getting drenched. 

Seriously though: what's up with umbrella dislike?

Walmart Dating Theory Revisited

In the spirit of the holidays, I have started contemplating something new:

Black Friday.

According to my Walmart Dating Theory, if you go into the store looking for something particular/ look for a boyfriend there is nothing to be found. However, if you walk into the store blindly/ aren't looking for anything, suddenly there is a whole world of options.

I forgot about Black Friday, how un-American of me! The American Dream of shopping. The apocalypse of store lines.



Here goes:
 The Black Friday Walmart Dating Theory:

The moment when everyone is looking for a fling/ relationship. Suddenly, everyone is shopping for some sort of deal at Walmart. Pandaemonium. People end up finding almost the exact thing that they want, and often end up returning what they bought a week or two later. Some people actually get something worthwhile, but they are few and far between.

Don't forget a healthy sense of competition! People fight over specific products/ people and everyone leaves a little disgruntled.

 However, in the spirit of the Holidays, whether you get a boyfriend/ girlfriend or a Walmart toaster, your extended family will show their disappointment for your newest selection over the Christmas dinner table.

*pics found on google...



As much as I joke about such theories, sometimes I get freaked out when my ideas come to fruition. As it turned out in my own experience, when I wasn't looking, I stumbled across something at Walmart.

Totally got that shirt at Walmart. And the other part of the theory worked out too.

Thank God for Fox News

If it weren't for Fox news, I would never have realized how much I have done to personally sabotage my own happiness. Suzanne Venker's article, "The War on Men" has made me realize the error of my ways. As she eloquently describes, feminism isn't the reaction to or female defense of the war on women, but rather a war on men.

Look at that poor man under attack...

The reason that there are no "marriage-worthy" men is due to the fact that women are no longer women. My god, if I had known this before, I wouldn't have wasted my university scholarship money on my studies; I would have got the boob job that will make me a REAL woman. I can't cook, so I should at least be pretty.  How dare I refuse to let a man use his DNA coded drive to protect me by getting a job and being financially independent?

I am so glad that Fox news took the time to remind me that any gender inequality that I experience is my fault. And, to think, I could have blamed sexist lawmakers who innocently put women in binders! Guess I'm never getting married.

But... there is hope. I can "surrender to my nature" as the article recommends and attract marriage-worthy men. I have never felt more attractive then when I am wearing high heels, a poodle skirt, and a low-cut blouse in the kitchen. While cooking, of course. Perhaps I should just cook naked, so as to be as close to my nature as possible. That way I can't let my ideals or clothes get in the way of me and my man... and second degree burns.

http://www.foxnews.com/opinion/2012/11/24/war-on-men/

Feline Viscously Attacks Turtle

Me? A predator? Never

ERHMAGERD TERTELLLL

Turtle's going doooooowwwwnnnn.

Die turtle, die!

nom nom nom

mmmmmm turtle

Gleefully thanking the gods for letting her attack a turtle.

Attempting to Look Innocent. As if.

Stalking her prey.

Fourteen Year Old Girls with Debit Cards

Going to the mall can be terrifying. Finding a parking space within three months of Christmas is about as easy as telling a five year old that they cannot have the stuffed pig toy that they want. You run the risk of running into old classmates and holding awkward conversations about what you have been doing since high school. You are constantly bombarded with sales fliers and/or waiting in line. Going to the mall is pretty scary. But I have noticed a new, and even more frightening, phenomena: 14 year old girls with debit cards.

Why?

The idea of giving a pubescent girl a card with which she can drain a bank account... wow.

When I was fourteen I had an allowance that I used to buy music, clothes, books, movies, and anything else that came to mind. The beauty of an allowance was that it was far from bottomless. I had a certain amount of cash and when it was gone, it was gone.

I worked at a young women's clothing store last Christmas. I got to work at the checkout counter and had the (pleasure?) of ringing up young teen girls' mini skirts, bras, high heels, etc. It's great for business- giving young girls debit cards. However, to me, it's terrifying. I don't want to see a fourteen year old girl spend Daddy or Mommy's money on five pairs of shoes. No knowledge of prices. No understanding of how to handle money.

When I was fourteen I had a few crushes, a huge desire to learn to drive a car, a small allowance, and a lot of fun.

Also, I have seen the clothes that many of these girls get with their debit cards. Perhaps they will learn how to handle money once they start earning it off of street corners...


Ok. I'm done bitching about that now. I'm going to have more mashed potatoes. Happy Thanksgiving Everyone.

Things That Make Me Feel Old

1. My second graders guessed that I was 23, although a few of them guessed upwards of 30.

2. High school classmates of mine are getting married.

3. I haven't really asked a parent for permission to do anything in years.

4. Other high school classmates of mine are parents. Or soon will be.

5. Not a part of the youngest generation anymore. Damn Generation Z!

6. If this were a century ago, I would have been married for years with a few kids by now.

7. I remember life before the internet.

8. I pressed the 'rewind VHS button' more times than I can say

9. I know what a Giga-Pet is.

10. My friends and I never played with vampire barbies. We had a few career barbies though.

11. I remember airport security before 9/11/01

12. Kids that I babysat are learning to drive- *God save us all*

13. I wore a jumper to elementary school. It was cool.

14. I remember when President George W. Bush was elected.

15. My parents were a few years older than me when they got married...

What I Lose as a Result of the Election

1. I don't get to say "President Romney." How will I ever survive?

2. I don't get to time-travel back to the 1950's. I would look great in a poodle skirt...

3. Now I have to make all of the decisions about my reproductive rights. Am I really capable of making those decisions all by myself?

4. I don't get to play the "sore loser" role.

5. I no longer have an excuse to move to Canada, Norway, or Spain. At least, no political ones.

6. I have to hear about President Obama's love of education... the horror!

7. I have to figure out what to do with the extra money that I have as a result of birth control subsidies...

8. I don't get to explain to international friends the benefits of having a Mormon president, who lets his views influence politics.

9. Gay marriage is recognized in even more states. That means that I have to figure out more wedding presents for friends of mine.

Oops

Oops. I haven't posted in a while. Things I can blame:

1. Homework- *buries head in sand*

2. Midterms- Grrrrrrrrr

3. Sleep- I just like it too much.

4. Business-  hehe.

5. Myself


Good Things:

President Obama won!!!!!!!!
- now I don't have to leave the country.


Random critiques of things in general:

- Must girls run screaming through dorm hallways at 3am? I'm tempted to set bear traps.
- I can't cook. Damn.


Tentative Life Plans-

1. Be a professor.
2. Join the circus.
3. Marry rich.
4. Prostitution
5. Re-think.

All of the Reasons My Former Church Would Consider Me "Negative Example 'B'" on How to go to College.

1. Not only did I choose a non-religiously affiliated school, I chose a "party school."

- Where are you going to college, Hannah?

- *insert school name here*

- That bastion of sin and depravity?
- yep! That's the one!


2. I'm pro gay-rights.

I feel that everyone should be allowed to be as terrified as I am about the concept of possibly planning a wedding. Also, there are no legal reasons not to, just moral ones...


3. I decided that the whole "saving sex for marriage" thing is no longer important to me.

I guess I just have bigger things to worry about.


4. I'm LOUD about the fact that I am going to vote for President Obama.

YAY PRESIDENT OBAMA! YAY YAY YAY!


5. I swear, especially if it adds to whatever I want to say.

Hell yeah.


6. I could worry about dressing modestly.

Or I could wear a bikini while I am young and fit enough to. Ditto for revealing dresses. They only look good for so long...


7. Psychological meds should be distributed only by a qualified physician.

I don't care whether or not said physician believes in God. As long as they know what medication people need, I'm happy.


8. I don't plan on going back.

And if I do, I want to wear an Obama 2012 t-shirt.

Signs You Are Not Getting Enough Sleep

- The bags under your eyes have their own bags under them.
- You do not immediately understand your friends' dirty jokes.
- Waking up is the enemy- more than usual.
- You can't remember when you last ate, your social security number, your anniversary, or anything else that you might get asked about at any second.
- The snooze button would be the love of your life if it only lasted longer.
- Your stoner friends say you look 'out of it'.
- You aren't sure what language you are speaking but it sure as hell isn't English.
- You start thinking that things like talking to your ex, ignoring warning labels on flammable objects, and ignoring any and all dietary restrictions are ok. They're not.
- Brief existential moments are broken up by bouts of keeping your eyes from closing.
- You read each sentence again. You read each sentence again. You read each senten...
- Not only are pillows, mattresses, and blankets treacherous- hardwood floors, pavement, and strangers' laps are as well.
- It's Midterm Week

Signs that Love/ Tests are in the Air on Campus

1. No one is sleeping. The bags under students' eyes could stock Wal-Mart for a day and a half.

2. You wake up the next morning full of regret.

3. You aren't sure how or when you got to bed, but you aren't completely wearing pajamas.

4. People are either holding hands to show affection, or to try and convince one another that they will, in fact, survive their test.

5. You can't pay attention to anything. At all.

6. Everything else in your life including your friends, fern, and pet fish have been neglected.

7. Suddenly the outside world seems wonderful and inviting... even if it's raining.

"What do you mean women shouldn't vote?" and other questions I ask myself

I seriously need to stop thinking that I have seen/ heard it all. Every time I do, I run into something even more dumb than I could have possibly imagined. ESPECIALLY politically.

Let's recall the last few months of crazy stupidities involved with American politics:

1. "legitimate" rape

http://www.someecards.com/somewhat-topical-cards/todd-akin-legitimate-rape-senate-funny-ecard

2. Pregnancy begins 2 weeks before conception.

http://www.actclassy.com/2012/08/flowchart-friday-the-jan-brewer-pregnancy-test/

3. The American middle class earns between $200 and $250 thousand dollars. A year.

http://www.addictinginfo.org/2011/09/02/the-wealthy-dont-create-jobs-good-jobs-create-the-wealthy/

4. 47% of America isn't worth bothering about

http://chrispiascik.com/2012/09/the-47-of-america-romney-doesnt-care-about/




What could POSSIBLY be more ridiculous?

Today, an adult, extremely educated woman wrote " I actually am a woman and believe that 

trouble started when women started voting because they voted with compassionate hearts

 and did irreparable damage to this nation. "



WHAT THE HELL?

My mind= 

http://rceezwhatsup.blogspot.com/2011/04/every-nuclear-explosion-since-1945.html

Romney's Middle Class- I'm IMPOVERISHED

Just when I thought I couldn't want to vote Republican any less this November...


BAM! Romney and Ryan would like to get rid of Pell Grants for hundreds of thousands of students. I can't see the logic in making it even less affordable for students to study, especially when the United States already has an awful manner of funding its universities. I admire the many European countries that pay for students' university tuition so that school is free, no matter how many degrees they decide to peruse.

God bless America? 

So, just in case paying for school wasn't hard enough, lets make things just a bit more difficult. Great.

Also, according to Romney, the American middle class earns between $200 and $250 thousand dollars a year. By these standards, I and pretty much everyone that I know are impoverished! Welcome to a nation of underprivileged people- leave your sympathy at the door. You must not work hard enough.

*sigh*

Just to make sure I'm getting this straight...

Students like me are less likely to receive grants, which makes it harder to pay for school. If I can't go to school, it will be even more difficult to find a job. If I can't get a good job, it's obviously because I didn't try hard enough, so I will never fit into Romney's version of the middle class.

Also, for good measure- I plan on using Obamacare's birth control subsidies because it will be so much more affordable. 

Somewhere, Mitt Romney is shaking his head without knowing why...

Weird Roommate Thoughts

My roommate, Sam, and I share a kind of strangeness. We find weird things funny at the worst of times, and are probably the only people who consistently laugh at each others' jokes. Just to allow you a glimpse into the sort of craziness that goes on in our space, I am writing some typical comments and topics of conversation:

1. changes  mind about something said less than 2 minutes ago and says, "I would make a great Mitt Romney."

2."CLEARLY this has been organized by a man."

3."Well you're uncouth and so is your mother!" 

4. Sounds sexual! (talking about a history book for class)

5. College roommate agreement rule- "all disagreements will be settled by a wrestling match on the gigantic bean bag chair."

6. We have one rule in particular about our shower, and I can't write it online.

7. #trilingualproblems

8. We bet in a strange currency: cream soda.

9. I wonder what the three Republicans in Athens County are thinking right now?

10. You are making me look like a "lack-witted cur" as Sims Medieval would say.

Spectrum of Badass

I tend to think that there is a whole spectrum of badass- ness. To some people (for example, the Christian, right wing side of my group of friends and acquaintances) saying the word "badass" is badass. However, according to my more liberal friends with lots of worldly experience, I am -2% badass. I guess it's all about perspective. Just for fun, here is what does or does not make me a badass:


 - I ditched math class to motorcycle to the lake.
- Saving kissing until marriage seems archaic and unnecessarily difficult.
- College parties? Pssshhhhh. I was reading about the Iberian Visigoths. No, seriously.
- My school hands out condoms almost as much as they hand out pamphlets about groups you can join.
- I travel alone. Frequently.
- My free time is spent studying or complaining about my homework.
- I watch Game of Thrones
- I jumped into the ring of a bull fight. Funny story...
- I believe in short shorts. Especially when it is 8787945094845 degrees outside.
- When my host dad pastor jokingly said I wouldn't get married I just told him that I could "live in sin" with a boyfriend instead. He freaked out a little.
- The game "Never Have I Ever" doesn't reveal anything shocking about me.
-My sister made me make this blog and I did.

The Remote Gods

You are watching TV when some sort of abysmal commercial comes on, and all you want to do is blast that commercial into oblivion. You search around for that magic device that controls the unruly television, and it is nowhere to be found.

The remote gods have decided to take your remote away from you. You search in-between the couch cushions, under the cat, behind the couch, and make sure you didn't somehow forget that you have it in your hand.

Nope. It has gone missing. The remote control gods give and take away.

In anguish (despite the fact that the awful commercial has been over since you checked under the cat), you go to the fridge in the hopes of finding solace in ice cream or something. And there, magically, is your remote, between the milk and the odd looking salsa in a jar.


There is only one reasonable explanation for such an occurrence- you have angered the remote gods. I suggest you remember to offer a ritualistic sacrifice like watching the news and pretending to care once a month or so.

How My Career Path Has Changed

Dad: What do you want to be when you grow up?

Me (age 3): A taxi driver.

-----negated-------


Dad: You should be a doctor. Or a lawyer.

Me (age 5): *Blank stare*


------------

Dad: What do you want to be when you grow up?

Me (age 12): A teacher. Maybe English or something.

Dad: What about a lawyer or a doctor?

Me (still age 12): I don't like science.


--------------


Dad (two weeks ago):  You should take the LSATs

Me: Fine.

Dad: Take a practice test

Me: Meh. But standardized tests are annoying.

Dad: Oooohhhhh! Take the LSATs, maybe you could do Latin American law...

------------------


Wouldn't it be funny if I actually ended up becoming a lawyer? Or a taxi driver? Or a lawyer who drives clients to their doctor appointments?

The Walmart Dating Theory

On the list of sentences I hear often, "I am looking for a boyfriend/ girlfriend" is up there.

I always thought this was a funny statement. It's like losing a sock; you aren't going to find it if you are looking. You will, however, find your lost sock after you already bought more and are about to wash them.

Seriously though... how do socks do that?

I compare looking for a relationship to looking for a Walmart employee.

You know when you REALLY NEED to find something in Walmart (lets say a baby thermometer because it's obscure enough) and you can't find it anywhere? That's when you start looking for a Walmart employee so you don't have to run around the whole store to find the baby thermometer...

AND THERE IS NOT ONE EMPLOYEE TO BE FOUND.

No smiling Walmart employee in a blue shirt. Maybe a western movie-style tumbleweed roles by, but that's about it. You search around the nearest few aisles and run into an old classmate or two, but there is not a single Walmart employee in the area.

That's what looking for a relationship is like.

You look for someone to date, and all you find is tumbleweed rolling down the aisle. The more you want it, the harder you search, and the less rewarding your search is. The poor baby continues to be thermometer-less.

HOWEVER, not looking for a relationship is like wandering around Walmart because you are bored on a Thursday night. Even though you aren't looking for anything in particular and you're there just for the sake of being there, suddenly...

AROUND 7 WALMART EMPLOYEES find you and ask, "Can I help you with anything?" 

Just because you weren't looking for a Walmart employee, suddenly there is an abundance of workers bored on their shift or something.

That's how relationships seem to me. If you look for one- you find tumbleweed. If you don't look for one- relationships tend to find you. 

Or at least you find a lot of options- or maybe a missing sock or two...

Awkwardly Avoiding My Real Age

I'm a university sophomore who spends most of her time taking tough classes and hating her decision to take tough level classes. Well, and eating. Eating is awesome.

Anyways,

One strange aspect of being in high level classes is that I have been the youngest person in my class on a few occasions. During my first year, this was particularly odd as I had to try and pretend that I was not a first year/freshmen. Why? Because freshmen are FRESHMEN (just ask any high school or university student).

Does this face look older than 15 to you?


Inevitably, classmates ask where you live or what year you are. I was able to get away with vague answers such as "I'm a little young" and "I live in the area." SOMEHOW there is always that one person who figures out how old you are.

19? and in (insert tough class here)? yep.

It shouldn't be embarrassing, not really. Sometimes though, being the youngest makes me feel like I should have worn my Barbie backpack to school.

Despite being relatively young, I look younger than I am (due to a combo of high cheekbones and shortness of stature). Despite feeling slightly awkward about it now, I am happy.

Because?

In the future, when I am 40, I will hopefully look 30.

I'm Pregnant! (According to Arizona).

Over the course of the past week, yet another governmental flub has caused me to want to move to another country. Permanently.

What? You may ask. There is so much to choose from- "legitimate" rape, abortion is wrong no matter what (even in cases of incest and rape), and one man believes that the South will secede from the United States, etc.

This time, it's none of those. A new law was signed and is scheduled to go into affect in Arizona. According to this law, pregnancy is considered to begin two weeks before conception (due to gestational periods). So, essentially, a woman is pregnant two weeks before she has sex and gets pregnant.

I either missed an odd joke or the invention of the time machine.

Following this logic, if a woman is pregnant before she is pregnant, every woman is pregnant!

I get to be pregnant without actually being pregnant! (I called my dad and congratulated him on being a grandpa by Arizona standards).

I can park in the "expectant mother" spots closer to stores.
I don't need a reason for chocolate. At 3am. Go get it.
What did you do today? I made a human.


See? I get all of the benefits of pregnancy without actually having to have an abortion or a kid!

Yeah, I'm happy.


But, actually, I'm not pregnant. Not in reality. Nor is anyone else pregnant two weeks before conception. I know this is an invention of political rhetoric used to further limit the amount of time in which a woman can have an abortion, but, COME ON! I couldn't die two weeks before I crashed while driving my car, why can I be pregnant before conceiving? Or anyone else for that matter?


What do you think? Please let me know.


For more information:
http://www.examiner.com/article/new-law-arizona-states-pregnancy-begins-two-weeks-before-conception?fb_comment_id=fbc_10151017873895264_23842687_10151024499090264#f33cdc101c

Learning to be a Jew

Sparknotes version of my life:

Dad was born and raised Jewish.
He converted to Christianity during college.
Mom is a Christian- always was.
I was raised Christian and know little to nothing about Judaism.

Today, as a college sophomore, I went to my first Hillel meeting. Let me just say that I have NO IDEA what is going on. But I am excited to learn. It's time to put the pieces of my ancestry together and understand what it means to be a Jew.

Initial things I thought were awesome upon first sight:

1. Female Rabbi. I come from a church background where women aren't allowed to be pastors within the denomination. I really like to see women in leadership roles.

2. Obama buttons. My reaction- "so liberalism isn't condemned as evil here? Yay!"

3. Everyone was super friendly!


In reality, I have no idea what to do, what to say, how to participate in celebrations, what to call people, what ceremonial items are named, etc. I have a lot to learn. Guess it's time to get started.

Top 10 Signs College Has Started Again

1. Dining halls are full- mostly of dazed looking newcomers who are trying to look as though they are not newcomers.

2. Groups of students are walking in packs/ flocks so as to reach their class/ other destination while feeling relatively safe and popular.

3. Lots of signs appear on sorority houses relating to how freshmen boys are welcome... some seeming more menacing than others.

4. Hickeys! Hickeys everywhere!

5. There is that ONE KID who is excited for class, meanwhile everyone else is bemoaning the fact that they had to wake up before noon.

6. People, especially girls, tend to dress nicely so as to impress peers. At least, for the first week or so.

7. Returnee students have already given up on dressing nicely and are happy to acquire as much sleep and food as possible.

8. Every store in the surrounding area is sold out. Of everything.

9. People of all ages, races, and creeds are using maps.

10. Happiness is in the air until homework lands.

"Legitimate" Rape

In case you don't follow American politics (I can't blame you), I will explain briefly what happened on August 19th 2012. Congressmen Todd Akin was asked about his views regarding whether or not women who are raped should be permitted to have abortions.

Let's pause for a minute- this is a huge issue in American politics today. As a general rule, Republicans are for the pro-life movement and Democrats support the pro-choice movement.

Republican Congressmen Todd Akin responded that in cases of "legitimate" rape, women's bodies have a way of shutting down and preventing her from becoming pregnant. In other words, if a woman has a child as a result of rape, a "legitimate" rape did not occur, and the woman must have wanted the sex on some level.

                                                     

Problem?

Where do I start?

Where is the "shut off pregnancy" button and why aren't more teenagers using it? How does a "legitimate" rape differ from an "illegitimate" one?

Here is where I get offended and snarky-


So, if a woman isn't pregnant as a result of sex, should we assume that a "legitimate" rape occurred? If that is true, should we assume that he has been "legitimately" raping his wife for years? As far as I know she has never had a kid.

Alright, I am done offending his family. To be fair, he has offended millions of women who have gotten pregnant as a result of rape and made them seem somewhat at fault for what happened to them. Don't worry, at least he isn't involved in politics, oh wait...

Random

Questions that have been on my mind lately...



Who said summer could end? They must be hunted down...

Where did this cold come from? Not. Cool. *sniffle*

Why do people like Ronald Reagan and quote him? He did a lot of damage; just ask Latin America.

What is wrong with being a Christian and voting for Barack Obama? Is one mutually exclusive? If so- where is that set in stone?

What the hell is wrong with swearing?

Does school have to start?

Can I just sleep through early classes?

Can early classes cater to me and change to a more preferable time?

Reasons Why I am an Old Cat Lady in Training

I'm not old. Yet.  But I love my cats (specifically the small new one) more than I probably should. But, come on, how can you not love those faces?

Q Flarp

I was in choir in high school. While I could go on for hours about choir experiences and probably bore you to death in the meantime, I just have one quick memory.

My choir director, V, had multiple good sayings. He was the awesome kind of teacher that you were a bit afraid of freshmen year and wanted to invite to your grad party senior year. He was just that much a part of our lives.

One of my favorite quotes of his was repeated often. Whenever the choir would go horribly off-key, V would scrunch his face, sigh, rub his forehead and tell us that we had entered into the key of Q Flarp. Admittedly, I have yet to fully capture what he meant. To me, the key of Q Flarp is a place that's a little weird. Sometimes you hit the wrong notes, you sigh, scrunch your face, and you start over.

As what grown-ups label a "young adult," I find myself in the key of Q Flarp quite often. As annoying as it is, and as much as it bothers those around me, it gives me a place to start fresh. Or, at least, a place from which I can work towards the right key.

Welcome to the key of Q Flarp.

Vandalism is International

Bergen area, Norway

Mind Reading- Thoughts Behind Faces

                                               I don't wanna smile. Feed me. Then we'll talk.

I don't wanna smile. Feed me. Then we'll talk

OMG FOOD

I only model for money.

Why am I so pale?

Nooooo! Don't eat me!

Wait! So Norway ISN'T the capital of Sweden?

My boyfriend made a pun.

If I hug my knees and smile maybe the camera will go away.

.........

Soon!.....